Howdy.
I’m currently sitting in my apartment, in college station. Exhausted from memorizing my accounting textbook and running plan, about to start training to drive for THE texas a&m university.
As I was waiting for my mac n cheese to cool down tonight, I thought about the younger version of myself.
You see this little girl version of me had BIG plans. Ever since I mumbled my first words, “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” I knew I was destined for greatness.
I am living the dream. This has been my goal for as long as I can remember. But I had to fight for it. I remember my freshman year, seeing all my friends go off to college and feeling so defeated. It’s hard to see over the mountain when you’re in the valley. And as much as I resented it at the time, I am so grateful for what I learned in the process of getting here. But here is different than how I imagined it to be. I’m hoping to capture that in this post: what I’ve learned, what reality looks like, and what I’m learning.
main character the ever lovin’ heck out of yourself One of my favorite quotes I heard during my time at ACC was “If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.” Success does not come to those who don’t strive for it and as tempting as it was to blend in I knew that would not get me to A&M. It is so so important to focus on your goals, your schedule, your todo list- on YOURSELF. It means sacrifice: not going out all the time, getting off your phone, pushing through the tiredness. Set yourself apart!!!
comparison kills As your ammeter blogger, I am obliged to be as open as possible: I still struggle with this one. In this season of life, my social media is filled with my friends getting married, having babies, starting their careers. And it just looks SO easy. Like it just comes naturally to them. Now please don’t get me wrong I am so excited for each and every one of them and I am overjoyed for their success and I’m not undermining the effort they put in. I’ve been learning the art of interpretation: reality vs what we allow others to know are two very different things. Do I look like the golden, clear skinned and smiling girl I post? Heck no. If you ran into me at heb you would most likely see me: makeup-less in an oversized sweatshirt and ancient running shoes. Life is messy, and it’s not perfect, no matter how “easy” some may make it seem. When these thoughts creep into mind, root yourself in who you are (Joshua 1:9) and Whose you are (Philippians 1:6).
the future will always be scary Remember in second grade when the biggest concern was what missing the opening of Hannah Montana? And then it was moving up to middle school, and then high school. SAT scores, exams, college apps… There is always something new- something intimidating. I remember thinking that when I’m at a&m, everything will just fall into place. I couldn’t have been more wrong- if anything I’ve learned more about what I don’t know than what I do. But thats OK! Life is a continuous learning experience. There’s always unknowns. The fun part is taking the risk. Failure is inevitable, but it’s an important tool to success.
It’s ok to grow apart This one took awhile to learn. I have a habit of holding onto friendships when they’re growing apart and then feel personally victimized when they don’t invest the same amount of effort as me. I don’t let go of people who matter to me easily because I’m worried that it means all the memories and moments are forever put on hold. I would fail to take into consideration that we are all growing up and changing. And its OKAY. I still love these people to death and our history is important to me but my happiness does not depend on them anymore, that’s all.
So that brings us to now, learning and growing and most likely running.
-m
MB 
Leave a comment